Are you tired of making a name for yourself? because I know I am. I think this culture is exhausting for a lot of reasons, but the biggest is that it begs us to make a name for ourselves, to make a god of our own preciousness. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
I have said this before, but I am a people pleaser, I strive to make people feel comfortable, cared for, loved, and with that I strive to meet their expectations about myself. For a long time I strove to be a perfect daughter, I tried to be the light for my mom in our darkest times. I strove to be the perfect student, taking 21 units a semester in college, trying to finish as soon as possible. A perfect friend, trying to always have the best advice. A perfect Christian, trying to be sacrificial, selfless, etc.
One thing I found myself striving for lately is having it all figured out. I am 23 and still in college, my HS classmates are graduating and I can’t help but feel like I am behind. Sometimes the expectations weigh on me and often make me feel judged. It can be difficult to explain to others why its taking longer than expected, and the answer "God was calling me to something different” becomes a difficult one to answer. Feeling like you have to explain every decision you ever made so that you meet people’s expectations. The world sets expectations of how long it should take me to finish college or how I should act as a Christian. There are always expectations the world gives us as how to live. But God doesn’t follow worldly expectations and sometimes when you follow the will of God it can look confusing to others. The good news are that what in the world looks like a short-coming and a failure, God sees it as an opportunity to create a testimony of his glory and his goodness.
I don’t know what you are striving to be. I don’t know if the tittle you are striving for is good Christian, selfless daughter, selfless servant- like I have for so long. Or maybe something completely different.
Whatever it is, stop it. Rest in the title and love that has already been given. Be aware that the title you are chasing and the expectations you are trying to fulfill have no value where there is value (heaven). You are a child of God! Rest in knowing that there is nothing you can or cannot do to change that. Proclaim the name of Jesus over your life, get out of the way. Offer your scraps and then watch Jesus do what He could have done without you, but graciously chose to let you be apart of.
